Monday, December 19, 2011

Thank You Javier

I’ve been struggling about writing this entry blog because I knew I was going to get very emotional and perhaps cry while writing it. I’ve told myself so many times before that “crying” is a sign of weakness and that I shouldn’t show that emotion. But, I changed my mind and here it goes…

I know that some people in the Bail Industry here in Southern California don’t believe my story about how I started in the Bail Bond business. I know! I also wish that my story wasn’t true and I didn’t have to carry so much pain inside of me; yet, everything I’ve posted on my blog is true. I was married to a deputy sheriff and after 13 years of marriage, he sent me to jail accusing me of Domestic Violence. The sad thing about that is that he was the one who was “physically” abusive towards me. For many years I endured beatings. Yes! I said “beatings” that included: busted lips, bruises on my back and legs after he’d kick me, a black eye, I was even chocked once and another time my ear was bleeding after he’d thrown me against the vanity in the bathroom sink. I remember once he even threatened me with his 9mm Beretta (the same one he was supposed to use to protect the public with) that he was going to kill me and then kill himself.

These abusive incidents happened on and off throughout our 13 years of marriage. Some of his family members knew about the abuse as well as some of our friends. Every time he lost his composure, he would blame me for his actions. It was my fault that he had slap me, he said. He either cried and apologized, promising to never hit me again, or the following day he would come home with a dozen roses and act like nothing ever happened. I was told by one of his fellow deputies that if I call the cops on him, that he was going to lose his job. I immediately thought, “Well, how am I supposed to support the kids?” I have 3 kids and I was a stay-at-home Mom for most of their life. I come from a Hispanic background where my grandparents and even my own parents have been married for decades. I stayed “unhappy” in this abusive relationship because I thought that eventually things would get better and that the “man” I’d married was going to change, but that never happened.

For many years I beat myself up for allowing him to abuse me. Why didn’t I do something about it? Why didn’t I call for help? I blamed myself.  The fear, shame and embarrassment were consuming me. It’s so easy to judge other people for their appearance or the way they carry themselves. But something I’ve learned in the Bail Bond industry is that you can never “judge a book by its cover”. You never know anyone else’s story; where they come from, the sacrifices that they have made for themselves or for their own families.

I spoke to my ex-husband Javier a couple of weeks ago in regards of our kids schedule, when all of the sudden, he began ranting about my blog. He said that I'm so stupid and that his coworkers at Twin Towers Correctional Facility had been laughing at me and about the things I write on my blog. I actually have to say that I’m flattered that the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Deputies are reading my blog during their shift.  Remember, any “publicity” right now is “good” publicity for me, so thank you LASD!

Javier then asked me, “When are you going to get over it?! I sent you to jail, just deal with it! A lot of cops sent their wife’s to jail!” Javier is absolutely right about that! I’ve bailed out many cops and firemen wives out of jail. It’s ridiculous! What does that tell you about our so called “heroes”? It’s so easy for him to demand for me to “get over” things, right? He was not the one treated worse than a dog at the county jail; he was not the one who got molested by the arresting officer, Riverside Deputy Balderrama, when he was putting me in the patrol car and again at the the Jurupa Sheriff’s station. (I will write about this “douchebag” in another blog). He was not the one who was told by a family judge that he had “lost temporary custody of his kids”. No, he wasn’t…I was!!! I wanted to see my kids so badly but I couldn’t even talk to them due to the restraining order that Javier filed against me. I was the one left out in the street with no home, no money, no clothes, and most painfully…“no kids”.

I guess in a weird kind a way, I always wanted to hear Javier say, “I’m sorry I hurt you!” or “I’m sorry for what I put you through!” But…I finally came to the realization that I’m never going to hear those words from him. I’ve waited over three years to hear him say that; but, I guess I’ve only been torturing myself. I think that if I did something so horribly wrong to the person that I’ve promised: “I’ll be with you for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poor, until death do us apart” I would have remorse and I would find the “courage” to at least apologize for not only breaking my promise, but also for the way our marriage ended. But, that’s what “I” would do. Obviously it is not what Javier would do.

A couple of weeks ago, I met a very wise man. He told me that in a relationship I have control of only 50%. He agreed with me that it was going to be very hard to forgive Javier for what he did to me because he not only betrayed the mother of his kids; but, he also hurt his own children. I think the healing process for me has finally begun. What Javier did to me is “not” my fault! I had no control over his actions, only mine. Like I said before on a previous blog, I didn’t mourn the loss of a husband. Once I was in a jail cell at the Riverside County Jail, I realized that “any” feelings that I still had towards Javier died on that day. I never begged him for us to get back together, nor pleaded with him to reconsider. It was over!

The wise man also told me that he could tell that all the circumstances I’ve gone through are good things and that I’ve just started “living” my life. Gosh! I felt a punch on my stomach when he said that. It’s true! I just started LIVING!!! I’ve been on my own for three years now. It hasn’t been easy at all! In fact I don’t think I’ve ever worked as hard as I do now. I’ve met so many awesome people that at some point or another have either guided me or helped me to be a better person. I believe that I have greatness within me and I live in a beautiful country that is allowing me to leave my mark on this world. My main focus has always been my children and now I have added bail bonds as a secondary focus. I think that Bail Bonds have been my escape from my sorrow and pain. If I’m not spending time with my kids, I’m at the jail. Sometimes, I’m with my kids at the jail. Talking about having the best of both worlds! LOL!

I decided to share this story with you, not because I want you to feel sorry for me. Believe me, that is the last thing I want you to do! I want to inspire others that have suffered injustices to get motivated to do something about it and find their own greatness!  You never know what you are capable of doing! I sure didn’t know. My blog is now read by thousands of people all over the world. I started blogging just for fun, but the responses I’ve gone from my readers have been amazing! Many people have been able to either relate to my stories because something similar has happened to them; or they have found the courage to share with me their own survival story.

Three years ago, I was homeless due to my ex-husband’s actions. I raised my children and managed my household from one room a friend of mine let me used at her house while my divorce and child custody became final because I was never allowed to get back to the family home. A year later, I was able to rent my own apartment, but then I got fired from the bail bond company I was working for at the time. I’m so glad I got fired actually because the bail agents at that company are treated almost as slaves, over worked and under paid.

I’ve been an independent agent since last year and I do whatever I want! In fact, I think you’re reading about me now, because you’ve heard that I’m the one who walked around the Van Nuys jail in California wearing a pink bikini just to prove a point! I have no regrets about that, it has been one of the best things I’ve ever done!

I now live together with my children in a little house in an amazing family oriented town in California where my kids are very happy! We are all involved in our community. I’ve told myself so many times that I want to be successful, but the truth is, “I’m already successful” If you ask my children they will tell you that: “I’m their Super Hero” and that, to me means “success”.

I know it’s going to be hard for you to believe what I just wrote on this blog, but let me assured you that I have proof of everything I talked about; otherwise, I wouldn’t write it. I think that at this point Javier could have taken me to court a long time ago and sued me for defamation or something to make me stop talking about this; but, he can’t do it because everything I’m saying it’s absolutely true and HE KNOWS IT!  Javier can "brain washed" the deputies at the Twin Towers Correctional Facility all he wants! Yet, the truth is the only thing that is consistent and I speak with the truth! I walk with my head up high in knowing that I’m leaving my children an amazing legacy of perseverance, good will, passion, hard work, love and family values and those are the only things that matter to me.

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl

Monday, November 7, 2011

Shrek or Just Another Ass (Donkey)?

In February 2010, I got hired to work for a Bail Bonds company located across from the LAPD Van Nuys Sub-Station in Van Nuys, CA. At the time I was still very hurt from what I’d gone through with my ex-husband, so I didn’t talk to cops at all! I avoided them as much as possible. I didn’t make eye contact with anyone wearing a law enforcement uniform especially if it was from the Los Angeles Sheriff Department.  I didn’t want to talk to cops unless it was “completely” and “utterly” necessary. I was definitely suffering of an illness I liked to call “Cop-phobia”.

One day, I went to visit a potential client who was in custody at the Van Nuys Jail. I made the visit, talked to my client and as I was leaving the lobby station, an officer sitting at the front desk said “hi” to me and in a weird kind of way, we began having a conversation. I say weird because, again, at the time I didn’t talk to cops at all. I don’t know why I actually talked to a cop on this occasion. The conversation was about how busy I was on that day because I was going in and out of the jail, we talked about food, and we even talked about the neighborhood, random stuff! I remember that my mouth was moving responding and contributing to the conversation; but at the same time, my mind was telling me to shut up! “Nancy, stop talking to this dude! You don’t talk to cops!!!” I finally said goodbye to the officer and I went back to work.

The following day, I ran into the same LAPD Officer and his partner outside the Van Nuys Court. We said hi to each other again and had a little chat. We began talking about Facebook and how awesome is to connect with friends and family and that the only bad thing about it is that it can be addicting. We talked about what they were both doing at the court and all of the sudden; the Officer asked me what my last name was. I know my last name is very long and most people can even pronounced it nor spell it correctly for that matter, so I figured I’ll tell him because there was no way he was going to remember it. So, I said, “Tiscareno” or actually, the accented version of “TiscareƱo” (lol, try to say that) He told me his last name too; but, of course I didn’t care at the time, so I didn’t even pay attention to him. We finished our conversation and said goodbye.

When I got home on the same evening, I checked my Facebook and I had a friend request and a message from a guy I didn’t know. The message read, “I got your last name from the jail visiting log book, it was too hard to remember it” I was like, “NOOOOOO!!! When am I going to keep my mouth shut!!!?”  I was debating on what to do next; do I accept him as a friend or just delete his request? Finally I decided to delete his friend request and I went to bed.

The following day when I checked my Facebook, I had a second message from the same LAPD Officer wishing me a good day. It was a sweet message actually, so I responded. From that point on, we began writing to each other through Facebook without being friends on Facebook. I didn’t accept his friend request so he couldn’t see the information on my profile and I couldn’t see his. We couldn’t write on each other walls or comment on each other’s pictures. Instead, we wrote to each other on a daily bases for many weeks! We wrote about family issues, political matters, religion, law enforcement stuff, food, shopping, kids, etc. It got to the point where I was looking forward to go home and see what he had wrote to me about on that day.   

One day he asked if he could have my cell phone number and I gave it to him. Shortly thereafter, he asked if we could have lunch together and I said yes. The first time we met up was for a quick bite at a fast food Chinese Restaurant in Van Nuys and we had a great lunch. I had talked to his guy for so many weeks via messages that I felt like I could trust him.

He began to text me early every morning wishing me a good day. I think his shift started at 6am so every time I woke up I already had a very sweet text from him on my phone. I thought it was a very nice and thoughtful thing to do, which meant that every morning he was thinking of me. We had pet names for each other and even had our own inside jokes. I finally accepted his friend request on Facebook and we made comments on each other’s photo albums and posted songs.

I noticed that he was close to his parents, and I thought that was very cute. He was always taking them out to eat or going places to visit. He had learned my kid’s names and ages even though he hadn’t physically met them. Since he was a teacher before becoming a police officer, he had really good advice about parenting skills and educational matters. He was definitely growing on me. I was conflicted about giving this guy a chance because of my previous experience with my ex-husband. At the time, I’d told myself that all cops were bad; yet, had I found a good one all of a sudden?  I wasn’t quite sure on what to do next.

So I talked to my friend Mayra about it, she was working with me at the same Bail Bond company at the time. She knew exactly who I was talking about. I told her all the nice things the officer was doing for me and she said, “Nancy you’ve found ‘your’ Shrek!” Oh man! I couldn’t stop laughing after she said that! She called him “Shrek” because this guy was not what most would call a good looking guy; and he was a bit overweight. I think he said he was 36; had never been married and had no children of his own. But even though he was rough around the edges, I could see that he had a nice heart. Looks can be deceiving and are not important to me. In fact, I was married to a guy who is a very good looking guy, but treated me like crap! There are some people who look “beautiful” on the outside, but they are very “nasty” in the inside. So, I decided to give LAPD Officer “Shrek” a chance.

We went out on a few more fast food lunches around the Van Nuys area during our work days. And finally one weekend we decided to go out to dinner and a movie. I asked him if he had ever gone to Lucille’s Smokehouse Bar-B-Que and he replied that he hadn’t.  I love Lucille’s!!! This restaurant has the best barbeque ever!!! So he had to try it! We met up at the restaurant and got a table. We ordered our dinner and had a good conversation. At some point, he just started talking to me about money and how hard life is. He then proceeded to tell me that he lives with his parents at his parent’s house because he was saving money to buy his own house. Really?!?! By 36, he hadn’t ever left home? Suddenly, it hit me and I thought, “Oh no! I was dating one of those guys…the “parasite” type”.

I’m sorry but if you are over 30 years old and never left home and still live Mommy and Daddy, under “their” roof, then there is definitely something wrong with you! Maybe it’s because I’ve been on my own since I was 19; I find it terrible wrong and disgusting that a “man” never left home and still lives with Mom and Dad. Especially, when he has a full time good paying job, with a nice retirement, good health benefits, and with some extra time to even get another little side job to generate perhaps even more income. If I can do it, why can he? Let’s be honest a cop in L.A. can make upwards of $100K per year!

At this point, I was still enjoying dinner and thinking what to do next. The waitress brought the bill and naturally she put on the table towards his area. Officer Shrek grabbed the bill and after seeing it, he asked me to pay for half of the bill. I thought he was kidding at first, so I laughed about it. He then said that women and men are equals and that they should pay for everything half and half. Wait! HOLD THE PHONE! He had been paying for the other little cheap fast food lunches we had, and he never mentioned anything about being equals or asked me to pay for my meal! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve paid for drinks, dinner, movies, gifts, even hotel rooms for “My Man” when it’s official that I have a “Man”. Not when I’m just dating and getting to know someone!

I was so pissed about this! I pulled out my credit card and basically paid for my own meal. I’m an independent woman, so I wasn’t going to cry about $30 or $40. In fact, I even thought about paying for the whole bill myself; just to show him that I didn’t need him, but why treat him to anything!?!? LAPD Officer Shrek is a “parasite”, a 36 year old, who is sucking the life out of his parents via their bank account, living rent free, eating whatever his “mommy” makes, no major bills to pay, no kids to feed! Unbelievable! No wonder he’s never been married!

I deleted him and blocked him from my friends on Facebook. On my cell phone he is under “NEVER talk to this douche” just in case he ever dares to call me. I have met so many men over 30 who never left home and still live with their Mom and Dad! It’s disgusting! I wish LAPD Officer Shrek good luck! And I hope I never EVER see him again! In the end, it turns out he wasn’t like Shrek at all…well, except for the fact that he was truly an OGRE! I would like to add, that since LAPD Officer Shrek, I’ve gone on dates with a few “YOUNGER” police officers who have treated me with lots of respect, kindness and thoughtfulness. So Good Job to the younger officers! ;-)  


I’d like to point out that what I find disgusting are those people (men especially) that have NEVER left home to even TRY being an adult!  I know that in today’s economy, it has been necessary for families to merge households, and I in no way mean to attack those that have lost so much in these economic times.  However, if you are one of those parasites that have sat back and lived under mommy and daddy’s roof and not even attempted to live life on your own, then you are, in my opinion…disgusting.  I feel comfortable in making this assessment since I had to leave home and start life on my own not once but TWICE…the second time with my kids in tow.  Again, if I can do it (twice, even)…why can’t the parasitic ogre’s like LAPD Officer Shrek do it?  And this “man” is a cop too!?!?!  Aren’t they supposed to be “responsible” citizens?  Ugh…

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl

Monday, October 31, 2011

Big Phil, Small of Slime

This latest entry will not be so much about me and my life, but more about a friend of mine (whom I met by bailing her out). I am so mad, that I just have to put this out there.  Even as I sit and write this, I am seeing red… Last Wednesday I went to the Family Court in Victorville, CA to accompany a friend of mine who is currently going through a very nasty divorce. My friend Carla was married to an ex-sailor from the US Navy, and together they have 4 kids. If you saw her soon to be ex-husband Phil; you would not be able to tell that he was in the Navy. Phil has definitely let himself go. He is extremely overweight; he can’t even walk normally without hyperventilating. To make matters worse he has a little girly voice. He is claiming that he is disabled and that he can’t work because of his condition. What condition you may ask? We don’t know...but “big” Phil does NOT work. He’s the kind of person I call “Parasite”.

Back in November 2010, I bailed out my friend Carla from the West Valley Detention Center in Rancho Cucamonga, CA. on Domestic Violence charges. “Big” Phil (ex-sailor from the US Navy) claimed that my friend Carla had hit him with a key chain and he sent her to jail for that. It angers me to see “grown” men acting like little “bitches” just to show their wife’s that they are in control and that it’s either their way or the highway. Mr. “Big” Phil filed a restraining order against Carla and she lost “temporary custody” of her kids. Sound familiar? Well if you are a fan of me and my blog, it should…that’s exactly what happened to ME!

Then in January 2011, I bailed out Carla once again. This time was for a violation or the restraining order. “Big” Phil was constantly texting Carla while he had filed a Temporary Restraining Order against her. I guess he wasn’t so “afraid” of her after all. Once she responded to his constant texts, which consisted of matters related to their kids; “big” Phil called the cops on Carla, showed them the texts exchanged between the two of them and off she went back into custody.

Since then, Carla has been able to stand on her own two feet financially. She’s held several jobs and she’s never given up. She now rents a brand new house in Adelanto, CA and has a really cool job that she can run from the comfort of her own home that involves traveling to Japan and to New York. But she was missing her children dearly; so Carla realized that the best thing to do for her and the kids was to share custody 50/50 with “big” Phil.

Since November 2010, “big” Phil had custody of the kids and Carla had visitation. Last week in the Victorville Family Court, the judge finally granted 50/50 custody for both parents. “Big” Phil was fuming; he wanted Carla to pay him alimony (since Carla has a job and “big” Phil is just a “parasite”). Seriously, it seems my friend Carla was married to a “douchebag”. “Big” Phil was asking the court for Carla to pay him child support, but the judge denied his request. By the way, “big” Phil lives together with his parents, at his parents’ house.  I wonder if he plays online games from his mommy’s garage too?

Because “big” Phil is “Butt-Hurt” right now and can’t accept the fact that everything he’s tried to do against his wife backfired. He sent his father and a tow truck to Carla’s house, on the same afternoon after the judge ruled on her favor to repo her car.  The car is “community property”.  It was acquired during their marriage, so she is entitled to one car and he can have the other one. The cops had to be called to the scene, because neither the tow truck nor the father-in-law was leaving her house. The following day, “big” Phil called the electrical company to cancelled Carla’s house services and once he was done with that; he called Child Protected Services to tell them that his kids were living in a house without electricity. Carla had to reinstate the electrical services and CPS didn’t open a case against her because they noticed that “big” Phil is doing all of this because he is angry.

“Big” Phil had his father file an ex-parte emergency restraining order against Carla the day after the repossession fiasco. When is this “parasite” going to give up and grow up?!?!  So this past Wednesday, I went to the ex-parte hearing at the Victorville Family Court to witness “these losers” abuse of the judicial system one more time. It’s so embarrassing for this family because the whole court already knows about them; since Victorville has a very small Family Court.

The judge denied the Temporary Restraining Order against my friend Carla. She said that there was not enough evidence to grant an order. Good call Judge, after all, how afraid is Gary of her, since he was at her house a week ago trying to repo her car? Agh! I guess the apple doesn’t fall far away from the tree! Does it?

Once the hearing was adjourned, I couldn’t wait to confront “big” Phil and his loser father outside the Victorville Court. I wanted to talk to “big” Phil as adults, but of course he cowered and walked as fast as he could to the parking lot to get into his car…leaving his Dad behind walking alone. I walked up next to “big” Phil and yelled at him!  I told him that he was a parasite and a loser bastard! I’m so tired of people lying in court!

Once “big” Phil got inside his car, I walked back to the court building where I saw Gary walking toward me to meet up with his son.  Gary was pushing a walker and had an oxygen tank wrapped up on his body. Once he saw me coming towards him, I’ve never seen someone with a walker walk as fast as Gary did that morning. He was looking down at the floor as if that was going to stop me from telling him off too! If his son was at least a “bit” of a man, “big” Phil, should have walked with his father instead of letting him fend for himself.

I met up with my friend Carla at the front of the court and then she proceeded to tell me that the whole walker, oxygen thing was just a show for court hearing. That Gary doesn’t actually use a walker or an oxygen tank. And when Gary went to Carla’s house to try to repo her car, he was just as alive as you and I, no walker, no oxygen tank! See what I’m saying? Why should we be surprised when these crazies snap like the terrible incident in Seal Beach, CA a few weeks ago where 8 innocent people lost their lives to the hands of one of these mad-men!  Just because he wanted to be in total control and couldn’t accept that fact that he had lost in Family Court. What is Mr. “Big” Phil going to do next? We don’t know? But, I’m pretty sure he’s not going to stop there…

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Would the Real Slim Shady please stand up… or at least bail out?

I have my own rules when it comes to dating. I don’t date anyone that I’ve bailed out period. I think that would be unethical since I would know what this person had “allegedly” done that caused him to be in custody in the first place. But I also think it would just be very weird anyway. Although, there was one time last year were I almost broke my own rule! I was working for a Bail Bond company in Santa Ana, CA. My boss called me and told me to post a bond at Theo Lacy Facility in Orange County. I posted the bond for the client and then I went back to my office.

The following day during my shift, a guy came into our office accompanied by his grandmother. Don’t ask me why, but I have the biggest crush on Eminem and this guy looked just like him! Though this guy had more tattoos and was a little more muscular than Eminem. I thought it was so cute that he was accompanied by his grandmother. They were very affectionate with each other, he pulled the chair out so his grandma could sit down, he got coffee for her and he was very concerned and caring about her wellbeing. My mind was already racing, thinking about how I could give this guy my cell phone number without looking desperate in front of his grandmother. I started to sweat and I was getting nervous just trying to figure out a plan to find the right moment to give him my number.

They both sat right in front of my desk and I thought they were at my office to bail someone out; when the “Eminem look alike dude” tells me that he was “checking in”. Oh snap! However I thought there was still hope, maybe one of the other agents at my office bailed him out, so I could still give him my number. I told him, “Sure, what’s your name?” He told me his name and as he did, I realized that it was the same guy I had posted the bond for at the Theo Lacy Facility the day before! I was screaming from the inside, “NO!!!!”  Oh man! I grabbed his file and I remembered that he had a parole hold and that’s why it took a few days to bail him out because we needed to wait for his parole officer to lift the hold. Oh man! Do I know how to pick them, or what?!?!

I conducted his post custody interview and I found out that his grandmother had bail him out! This guy had been in and out of prison who knows how many times; yet, I was still stubbornly thinking about giving him my number! Finally, we got to the point where I was going to give him a folder with all the copies from his bail bond. I was about to write my cell phone number on a post it note; but, at the last minute I decided not to. He got his paperwork, thanked me for bailing him out and went off with his grandmother. I’m glad I didn’t break my own rule that time. As of today, I haven’t dated anyone that I’ve bailed out and I don’t intend to… unless of course next time it actually IS the “Real" Slim Shady that I bail out!  :-)

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl

Thursday, October 13, 2011

From "Playmate" to "Inmate"

And just when I think I've seen it all, something or somebody always makes me re-evaluate myself. On October 17, 2010, I got a call from an attorney to visit a potential client at the Van Nuys jail. He told me that the person in custody was his friend of many years and wanted me to see if I could help her out. The attorney gave me her information and said that she’d allegedly shot her husband in the shoulder.  

I arrived at the jail and asked the jailer for the bail information on Victoria Rathgeb (also known as Angela Dorian). I told the jailer that I also wanted to visit her.  The jailer was surprised and told me, “You know what she’s done, right?”  I said, “Yes, I know she ‘allegedly’ shot her husband”. The jailer gave me the bail information and sent me to the visiting room. I waited there until Victoria was brought out to meet with me. I saw a 66 year old woman coming into the visiting room; she had shoulder length and wavy white hair. She looked very petite and fragile.  I’m sure she didn’t weight more than 100 pounds. But…what grabbed my attention immediately was the fact that she is very beautiful! I’ve visited elderly people in custody before, so I wasn’t surprised about her age, but once she began to talk to me and the way she carried herself; I knew then that she definitely didn’t belong in custody.

I introduced myself and we began talking. She told me that her and her husband Bruce got into an altercation; she showed me her bruises and marks on her forearms and also a few cuts on her chest and neck area. She said that they both had been drinking alcohol the night before. Then her husband approached her to hit her again, she grabbed the gun they kept in their room and claimed she didn’t remember anything after that. It wasn’t until the LAPD homicide detective Kevin Becker began to interview her that she realized what she had done. She told me that she had posed for Playboy when she was younger and had done a few movies. I honestly didn’t know who she was; I wasn’t even born when she was a Playboy Playmate in 1968. She actually wanted me to get in contact with Hugh Hefner to see if he could help her to bail out of jail. I finished talking to Victoria and then off I went to make call the list of people she gave me to call.

Victoria Rathgeb was arraigned in court for attempted murder on October 21, 2010 and transferred to the Women’s County Jail (CRDF) in Lynwood, CA.  On November 7, 2010, I went to visit Victoria at the jail and needless to say, that place is so sad. The jail is located off the 105 freeway towards near LAX. I exited the freeway and as soon as I did, I realized that I had entered a very dark and depressing neighborhood. I drove to the parking lot and finally went inside to visit Victoria. The building's lights inside the visiting area were dim and the walls of the place are painted white but with the poor lighting they look grey. The floors were literally just cement. What? No tile flooring?!?! The visiting area was full of families with lots of small kids. I found the elevator and as soon as I entered, I was overcome by a foul smell, gosh! I almost barfed! I couldn't get off fast enough! I think I ran out of the elevator! I finally got to the interview room and waited for Victoria until they brought her out.

I'm a bail agent, but sometimes I become a counselor or an advisor. I listen to the inmates concerns, family issues, previous life experiences, and after all of those roles, I have realized that we are all connected somehow... It's still amazes me every time I go inside an interview room, pick up the phone and hear the other person's perspective. At this point, I’m the only contact that they have with the outer world. On this particular day, I expected to find a depressed 66 year old ex-Playboy Playmate, who after a life of fame, wealth, popularity, beauty, etc., was now in jail for attempted murder on her husband. Yeah, the media talks about that, but there are always two sides of the story! I saw with my own eyes the very first time I met with her, her injuries on her arms, the bruises and cuts she had. Don't get me wrong, her husband almost died, but nobody else other that the two of them, know what really happened in their home on that night. We're shouldn’t try to judge.

Victoria was finally brought in, and when she saw me, she smiled from ear to ear! She looked so healthy, relaxed, mentally well, and joyful. I was like, "What?"... This must be a joke! I was expecting someone depressed! We began talking and even though she hadn't seen me in a while, she remembered me. She told me that since she'd been in jail; her jail mates were very kind to her, that she was getting the right medications, she was attending therapy groups and she was getting clean and sober.  Sometimes, we as people just need time to heal, to get stronger, and to take that opportunity to change our lives or our behavior or both.

She also told me that they were so many wonderful people, complete estrangers, who had put money on her books.  She was visited by several movie producers and book editors because they were interested in her story, in fact she was writing a journal while in custody.  At the same time she remained well aware that she was going to do some serious time for what she'd done. She looked so happy I couldn't believe it. I guess in jail, she'd finally got away from the person and the situations that were making her life spin out of control. She then sang to me in Italian!!! She showed me that at 66, she can stretch her leg as high as her head. That was really cool! I wish I could do that!!! I had such an awesome time conversing with her; she shared life experiences that I have also gone through myself. Once again, this is the part where we are all connected at some point. By the time we finished our conversation, my heart felt so happy, I had shared some laughs and jokes with someone that needed them…I’m still trying to decide whether it was her or me that needed that experience. 

I walked away from the interview room and headed back to the elevator, dreading the thought of getting in it again!!!! Disgusting!!! I got in my car and suddenly I felt a deep sadness, the location of this jail alone would bring anyone down. I'd been inside so many jails; I thought I was immune to this stuff already. But I was so shocked to see how much the life in this jail affected me. Homeless people sleeping under the freeway, the projects, the streets with pot holes, small kids at the waiting lobby, strollers, and babies crying...Gosh I felt like crying too! I realized that I have opportunities to meet with others at different stages in their lives and try to make a difference. I took a moment to thank God for giving me the life I have and for putting these experiences in my path.

I did actually try to get in contact with Hugh Hefner last year; I was literally planning to camp out outside the mansion until he would let me speak to him. But Victoria’s best friend Francis had already contacted someone at Playboy Enterprises. Francis told me that Hugh Hefner was not interested in helping Victoria out. I’m pretty sure that if Victoria Rathgeb had been a 22 year old blonde with double “D’s” breast implants; instead of a 66 year old ex-Playmate, he would have helped her, right?

In the end, Victoria Rathgeb pled No Contest to attempted voluntary manslaughter in Los Angeles County Superior Court on September 7, 2011 almost a year after her initial arrest. On September 29, 2011 Victoria was transferred to the Central California Women’s Facility (CCWF) in Chowchilla, CA. to serve a 9 year sentence.   She never was able to make bail. At best, barring some serious medical development, she will not get out of prison until after her 70th birthday.

I just wish that everyone who is in an abusive relationship would have the courage and pack their bags and leave their abusive partners immediately! I can relate to Victoria’s story, since I was myself in a very abusive relationship for many years. Some ask why we stay in those bad relationships. Well, we are scared of the unknown, plain and simple! We think that with time we can fix the problem. Maybe Victoria got fed up with the verbal and physical abuse her husband was putting her through and took matters into her own hands and maybe that was wrong. But notice that the media doesn’t mentioned anything about what Bruce Rathgeb had done to his wife Victoria? He is just a poor guy who got shot. I saw with my own eyes the bruises on Victoria’s arms and the cuts on her neck and chest area, nowhere in the news was that mentioned. I’m very sad that Victoria didn’t leave her husband Bruce sooner. In my opinion, Victoria deserves to enjoy her retirement years in the comfort of her own home and not at the women’s state prison.

Victoria Rathgeb also known as Angela Dorian. Playboy Playmate in 1968. She is now serving a 9 year sentence at the Central California Women's Facility in Chowchilla, CA.

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl

Thursday, October 6, 2011

The “Dark Side” you say?

I went to visit a client of mine at the Men’s Central Jail in Downtown Los Angeles, CA. I walked into the visiting area and proceeded to check in with the deputy at the front desk. He asked me, “Is this a professional visit?” I responded, “Yes, I’m a Bail Bondsman”. He looked at me in shock. It looked as if his jaw had drop all the way to the floor after I said I was a Bondsman.  He then asked for my credentials and gave me a form to fill out.

As I was writing my information on the visiting form, the deputy began to ask me questions about the Bail Bond business. He then asked my favorite question of all time, “How did you get into Bail Bonds?” I love when cops asked me this question!!! Most of the time, I come up with all kinds of different stories, just to give them something to smile about.  I know their day working in custody can be boring and monotonous; that’s probably why they watch porn movies during their shift and eat all day long. This time I didn’t feel like messing around with this deputy, so I told him, “I was married to an LASD deputy (that’s how I know about the porn movies at the Men’s Central Jail); he lied and sent me to jail accusing me of DV (domestic violence) consequently, I bailed out, and that’s pretty much how I got into Bail Bonds”.

The deputy was shocked and asked me, “You? You were in County Jail?” I replied, “Yes, I was. I’m a tough chick, man!” Most of the cops can’t get enough of my story of course. They refuse to believe that one of “their own” could stoop that low. He then asked, “Did you do it? Did you beat up your old man?” I answered, “Yes, I slapped him with my ‘boobs’ and then he called 911!” We both laughed! … I know! I’m bad... I smiled and said to him, “Well, it all worked out for me because I’m now a Bail Bondsman; I have authority, I’m in control and I have a career that I love!”  The deputy then told me, “So, you crossed over to the ‘Dark Side’” Oh this deputy was definitely a Star Wars fan. I told him, “The way I see it, I was in the “Dark Side” for many years and didn’t know it; but I’m definitely seeing clearly nowadays”.

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl

Friday, September 23, 2011

Wanted by the FBI?!?!?!

A couple of years ago right after I got my bail license, I got a phone call from my boss. It was around 2am on a Wednesday morning; I remember vividly because the night before I'd gone out drinking with a group of friends and I'd just arrived to my house when I got the phone call. (I was still a little tipsy) That's why I remember.

My boss proceeded to tell me that he needed me to be at San Diego Criminal Court at 8am to post a $100,000.00 bond on a robbery case that had a PC1275 (1)hold. In the bail bond industry a PC1275 (1) hold is usually set on a large bail bond to show the court that the money to post such bail was not feloniously obtained. On other words, a bail bondsman has to show proof that the money to post the bail bond is legit and not stolen money or drug money.

The boss then tells me to go and meet with another bail agent who was going to explain to me how the PC1275(1) hold was going to work and the agent was going to give me the money and the paperwork for the robbery case in San Diego. I met up with the agent around 4am at a local Denny's Restaurant; remember, I hadn't slept at all.

The bail agent I met proceeded to explain to me the process for the hold and coached me on what I had to tell the judge, he gave me the money and the defendant’s paperwork required for the hold. I asked the agent, "Robbery case, huh? What did he do?" The bail agent told me, "It's just a misunderstanding; they said he stole some money but, everything is going to be OK!” I took his word for it and off I went.

I got home just in time to get dressed and go to the court. I didn’t even have the time to double check the defendant’s case on the computer system. I left my house and drove almost two hours all the way down to San Diego. As soon as I arrived to the court, the defendant’s family was already waiting for me at the court entrance.  I introduced myself and together we walked to the court room. The defendant’s family consisted of two brothers, two cousins, one uncle, one sister and the sister’s husband. The sister’s husband was the one putting the money for the bond. They proceeded to tell me that their family had emigrated from Russia and that they now resided in San Diego. 

I walked in the courtroom by myself, while the family waited for me outside in the corridor. I asked the bailiff to direct me to the District Attorney. I had already been told that she was a really tough lady to deal with so, when I finally got to talk to her, I was very pleasant and respectful. I told her that I was the bail agent and that I had all the paperwork for my client. She then called her District Attorney Investigator and he came and took all my paperwork so, he could double check it and make sure that everything was OK.

The court room was not in session yet, so I sat in the first row waiting for the investigator to come back when I saw the defendant’s sister running into the court room looking for me. She was frantic, scared and shaking up! I told her, “What’s wrong?!” She said, “You have to come with me!” I ran out of the court room following her. Once I opened the door, I saw about 12 San Diego sheriff deputies arresting the two brothers, the two cousins and the uncle too!!!  They were flat on their stomachs on the floor with their hands bound behind their backs.  My eyes were popping out of their sockets like they do in those cartoons! I had no idea what was going on. The deputies took the men into custody while the defendant’s sister was crying hugging her husband.  I stood there in disbelieve.

The female District Attorney came out of the court room and I asked her, “Why are the men being detained?” She told me, “Everyone in this family is involved, 100k bail bond for every single one of them with PC1275 holds on every bond!” She was mad! The investigator then came back and gave me all my paperwork.  As I was talking to him, the defendant’s sister interrupted our conversation and she asked the investigator, “Why are you taking all my family and my little brother? My little brother didn’t know anything! They just told him to drive the car; he didn’t know that they were going to rob a bank!” WHAT?!?!?!?!?... My head was spinning! It seemed that the whole family robbed a bank in San Diego!!! See… these things only happen to me!!! I looked at the sister, grabbed her by the arm and led her out the area as soon as possible. I told her to stop talking and that her and her husband needed to leave the court building immediately. I gave them back the money and the paperwork and off they went.

I couldn’t believe what had happened.  I was sweating and thinking, “This is too much drama for me to handle in one morning and I haven’t even slept yet!” I walked away, took the elevator down and once at the lobby, I found a bench and just sat there. I needed to take a break and try to make some sense of all the mess I had just witnessed. I was about to text my boss, when through my peripheral vision I saw a really good looking guy. He was walking towards me, smiling. He was wearing a dark blue hooded sweatshirt, blue jeans and white tennis shoes. I was already getting into my “flirting mode” holding my hair and making eye contact with the handsome man; when he approached me and asked me, “Are you the bail bondsman?” I said very confidently, “Yes, I am! Is there anything I can help you with?” He then reached into his sweatshirt front pocket and flashed me his FBI Agent badge and ID. He said, “I need to ask you a few questions”. OH MY GOODNESS!!! What?!?!?! The FBI is here! Right then, I think my heart skipped a few beats. I kept telling myself, “Keep it cool, Nancy! Keep it cool!”  I smiled back at the FBI Agent and told him that I had no problem answering any of his questions; but, that I needed to see his identification one more time just to make sure, and then he showed me his credentials again.

He then proceeded to tell me that the case of the defendant I was trying to bail out was a “federal” matter. Of course, it’s was federal matter…they robbed a bank!!!! I gave Mr. “Hot” FBI Agent all my information and he said that they would contact me soon. Then I called my boss immediately and told him that the FBI had just questioned me. He asked, “Where are you at right now?” I replied, “I’m still sitting here inside the court building”. He then said, “Nancy! Get out of there fast! And get out there NOW!” Oh, I really didn’t like the sound of that! I grabbed my purse and my workbag and I ran out of there!

The FBI never called me. I’m sure they realized that I didn’t know anything about the case. I was mad at my boss and the other bail agent because they knew that these people were shady, yet they sent me “the new girl” like a lamb to the slaughter. I’m glad that this happened to me in the beginning of my career in bail bonds because I learned the lesson to never believe what other bail agents tell me. From the point on, I’ve done my own research on every single one of the individuals I bailed out. I have no idea what happened to the Russian family and I haven’t had any runs with the FBI since. ;-)

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Sure I’ve been hit on by a cop… but a chick cop?!?!?! Wow!

A few months ago, I went to visit a client of mine at the Los Angeles County Women's Jail in Lynwood, CA.  This was my second time visiting someone at this facility. I arrived at the location and proceeded to check-in with the female deputies at the front desk. There were two female deputies sitting at the end of the desk and another one standing on the opposite side. I proceeded to the deputy who was standing and told her that I was a bail agent and that I was there to visit an inmate. She handed me a form to fill out and asked for my identification card and my bail license.

I noticed right away that this deputy was very pleasant and friendly. I've gone to so many jail facilities where the women cops are ruder than their male counterparts! Why is that? Anyway, I was still writing my information on the jail form when she asked me, "So? You're not married?" I replied without hesitation, "No, I'm not" and continued to write my information on the jail form. I always wear a big ring on my left index finger. It's obvious that I'm not married. So, when the deputy mentioned it; I didn't think much of it.

She then said, "Wow, you are very beautiful! I'm surprised you are not married!" I was thinking, oh my goodness, she just complemented me, how sweet of her! I told her, "Thank you! You're very kind, but right now I'm focusing on my business and I really don't have the time to be in a relationship" (Which is the truth!).

As I handed the visiting form back to the deputy, she asked me, "Do you want to get coffee sometime? I would like to get to know you". WHAT?!!!! My head was spinning! I was thinking, did she just ask me out??? Oh my goodness she did!!!! I stood right in front of her just looking at her! I felt my face getting super-hot! Oh man, I was blushing!!! I kept looking at her for a few more seconds; it sure felt like an eternity. She was tall and very beautiful Caucasian female with a thin build. Her blonde hair was tied up in a bun and she was wearing the L.A. County Sheriff's Department uniform.

I finally got over the shock and asked her slowly in a very soft and low voice, "Are you asking me out on a date?" She said, "Yes, I am." Wow!!! I didn't know what to say? I smiled back at her and told her that I really appreciated her invitation, but that I'm straight and I that really like men. She was smiling at me the whole entire time. She then, wished me good luck in finding a good man because she could tell that I'm a good woman. Aww! Even though, I turned her down, she was very graceful and kind to me. We said goodbye; I left the front desk and went to visit my client and I didn't see the deputy again.

Since then, I've been asked out on dates by two other female police officers from two different police agencies. I was surprised at first; obviously, I wasn't used to having women asking me out. Heck! I'm still not used to men asking me out! What does that tell you? I'm flattered that both sexes find me attractive. Thank you! With that being said, I'm thinking that if by this time next year, I haven't found a "good man", I'm may just have  to go back to the women's jail and look for the deputy girl! ;-)

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl

Monday, September 12, 2011

How did I get into Bail Bonds?

If I had a dollar bill for every time I'd been asked, how did I get into Bail Bonds? I would probably have close to a thousand bucks by now! This is how my soap opera begins...

I was married for over 13 years to a Los Angeles County Deputy Sheriff named Javier Tiscareno and together we have 3 children. Javier had been cheating on me since 2008 with a coworker’s sister from Twin Towers Correctional Facility in Downtown Los Angeles. I had my suspicions about his behavior and the lies he was telling me, but I wasn't able to come up with any concrete evidence at the time. I was a stay-at-home Mom and my priorities were to take care of our 3 children and run the entire household. On Mother's Day 2008 Javier finally asked me for the divorce. We'd been separated so many times prior to his request, that this time I wasn't surprise at all. 

We continued to live in the same household during the divorce process, but Javier made sure to make my life a living hell. He would follow me around our 3,300 square feet home. I mentioned the footage of the house, just so you can understand that even though we lived in a huge place; with plenty of rooms for him to be away from me; he intentionally followed me around and threatened me with taking my kids away from me. He constantly said that he had the "money" and the "power" to leave me in the street.

I was not aware of it at the time, but Javier had begun to record my telephone conversations, "illegally" of course; between my friends, family and most importantly the conversations between my attorney and I; so much for "attorney-client" privilege, right? I knew that he had installed some kind of program on the family computer to be able to read my emails. So, I hardly ever use the Internet. I felt like a prisoner in my own home. I knew Javier was desperate to make a financial deal with me, since I'd been a stay-at-home Mom for over 10 years. He was supposed to pay me more than what he ever wanted in alimony and child support. How was he supposed to take his new girlfriend out on dates or going on romantic getaways? Or buy her gifts; when his wife and his kids were getting in his way.

In the evening of June 12, 2008, I had a long telephone conversation with my attorney in regards of my living situation with my soon to be ex-husband. I explained to him that I couldn't take Javier harassment anymore and my attorney agreed.  He then advised me to go to his office the following day to sign paperwork to request the court for Javier to be removed from the family home.

The next day, I woke up and got the kids ready for school. Javier did the same thing he did every day, followed me from room to room and tried to cause an argument. On this day, things were different; Javier was more aggressive with his threats. He was pushing me with his torso as to try to start a fight. I weigh 115 pounds. There's no way, I was going to get into a physical altercation with a man, especially since he has been trained as police officer with a very intensive tactical training.

On June 13, 2008, after the kids went to school; Javier hit himself in the neck causing a huge bruise on the bottom right side of his neck. He then, called 911 and told the operator that he was a cop, that his wife had hit him, and that he needed assistance. Within 10 minutes I had 4 patrol units from the Riverside Sheriff Department at our house. I was so confident that the Riverside Sheriff's Deputies will have "COMMON SENSE" and realized that there was NO way on this earth, that a girl my size, can kick some cop's butt... Boy! Was I wrong?!!!...  I never made it to my attorney's office to sign the paperwork on that day. Since Javier had the house phone wiretapped, he already knew that on that day, I was going to meet with my attorney and have him removed from the family home. Javier decided to take matters into his own hands and accused me of Domestic Violence instead.

Riverside Deputy Sheriff Balderrama (my arresting officer), put the handcuffs on me about 45 minutes after arriving to my house. I was taken to the Jurupa Valley Police Station, and then transported to the Robert Presley Detention Center (Riverside County Jail). A friend of mine and her husband posted a $50,000 bail on my behalf the same night I was detained. At the time of my release, I found out that Javier had filed a restraining order against me; and that I couldn't see my kids nor go back to my house. But most importantly, I had lost temporally custody of my kids for a "crime" I did not commit!!! Javier was right when he said he had the "money” and the "power" to leave me in the street.

Javier then took a week off from work to heal from his "self-inflicted traumatic injury" (that he claimed I did of course). He hired a female attorney 3 times his size. I'm NOT lying! His attorney looks like a mammoth! (This lady has the biggest butt I've ever seen! It's like putting 100 of mine little butts together, Lol!!). Javier looked so tinny in Family Court next to "Mammoth Lady" it was comical! He bought a new suit with an extremely large jacket, so he can look smaller; it reminded me of the kid from the 80's movie "BIG".  I understand that Javier needed to play the role of the "victimized husband" in court, and that exactly what he did. "Mammoth Lady" filed several continuations on the restraining order to pressure me to take Javier financial deal, but I didn't budge. It was killing me not being able to see or talk to my kids. I used to cry so much; my heart was literately breaking. When I finally got to see my kids, they were mad at me. Their father had told them that I've gone on a vacation without them. It was a very dark time for my kids and me.

The Riverside District Attorney's office never filed criminal charges against me. I'm sure Javier wasn't too happy about that, but that's what happens when people lie. The truth always comes out! Once I knew that I didn't have to worry about any criminal issues, I embarked on the biggest battle of my life: "The battle to regain custody of my kids". I was determined to get back my babies at any cost; I didn't care about anything else. During the same time, I began working as an agent's assistant for the same bail bond company I bailed out with. I didn't know anything about the bail bond business. I'd always been a cop's wife, so I had to open up my mind and see things differently. I learned the bail business from my own personal experience and I was fortunate to work with great people who took the time to explain to me how the business works. On September 11, 2009, over a year after I bailed out of jail; I became a licensed Bail Agent in the State of California.

Today, I'm happy to announce that I have 70% custody of my kids. After a very lengthy, emotional draining process to regain custody; my kids finally live with me. And that's ALL I ever wanted!... I didn't mourn the loss of a husband; after all, what did I lose? I lost a cheater! The way I see it: "She can have him!"

Am I still bitter? You bet I am. You would too, if your spouse sends you to jail accusing you of a crime you didn't commit; and causes unnecessary pain to you and your kids. Especially since the person who has betrayed you is a professional in "Law Enforcement" and knows how to manipulate the judicial system. There's no turning back from that!

I'm supposed to be bail agent without a doubt. I enjoy every minute of it. This is not an 8 to 5 type of job; this is a career, it's a way of life! I breathe, sleep, and talk about Bail Bonds every day! I love what I do because I don't see it as a way of making money; I see it as a way of helping people! My life has no meaning on this earth, if I'm not making somebody else's life better. I believe in the good of people and that even though we are humans and make mistakes; we also deserve a second chance.

Here with my kiddos on vacation in Las Vegas 2011.

This was the very first vacation I took my kids on in 2008, to distract them from all the nastiness from a messy divorce.

I believe that we should recognized the cops who are doing a great job, and also exposed the LIARS
who abused the system: Los Angeles County Deputy Sheriff Javier Tiscareno.

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl