Thursday, November 8, 2012

I'm Sexy and I Know It!

After my ex-husband Javier asked me for a divorce in 2008, he immediately took me out of the family bank accounts and credit cards; leaving me without money.  He even wanted to leave me without a car!  I was panicking because I didn’t have a job at the time. I remember that I pleaded with him and out of desperation I asked him, “What am I supposed to do without money? I don’t even have a job yet. Please don’t leave me without money! You know I’ve been a Stay-At-Home-Mom for the past 10 years!”

I remember that Javier looked at me with a dirty look, he got closer to my face and told me in a very evil tone, “You have ‘tits and ass’, I’m sure you’ll figure it out”. I knew exactly what Javier meant when he said that to me. I’m pretty sure he was expecting me to become a stripper or something.  Instead I became a bail bondsman and after all these years, I never really forgot the statement Javier made about my “tits and ass” so, I incorporate my “assets” in everything that I do! *Thanks for the tip Javier!  ;-)

I’ve always been very confident with my appearance and with the way my body looks.  I mean, what the hell is “low self-esteem”? Those words don’t exist in my vocabulary!  I’ve been telling myself every morning since I was a little girl that: “I’m sexy and I know it!” and I’m pretty sure that I’ve been saying this, way before the singers of LMFAO were even born! LOL!!!  ;-)  I have 150% confidence every single day!

I now have fans throughout the world! Men are requesting my posters as far away as Germany, Netherlands and Russia! In September 2012 my blog hit 10,000 readers! That’s crazy, since I only blog on my free time... And my ex-husband Javier used to tell me that I was “a stupid Guatemalan”, pshhh! People are starting to recognize me in the streets, at the courts, at the jails, etc.; I get daily fan mail and I’m the most Googled female bail bondsman in the US.   Eat your heart out Javier! Hahahahaha!!!

Due to my openness about how I became a bail bondsman and the stories I write in my blog; I have a lot of people who love me and support me. But, I also have many haters locally in the bail bond industry.  What can I do? I can’t please everybody! ;-)

I recently received an email from a female bail agent here in Southern California. She sent it anonymously, only with an email . I think it was very cowardly of her, not providing her name. But, what can I say? Not all agents in the bail industry have “cojones” like I do.

The email reads, “I have to say your incorporation of soft porn with the bail industry is disgusting. As bail agents we are part of the legal industry, an extension of the court some would say, and what you are doing is belittling all of us women in the industry trying to keep our image professional.” ß Somebody is jealous!!! LOL! ;-)

She is obviously very stupid! What the hell was she thinking? She just gave me material for another bad ass blog! Doesn’t she know that “Haters make people famous?”  My guess is that she is an older lady, and she’s probably “way” past her prime! She is definitely afraid that I’ll be taking over some of her attorney clients.  We all know that “every generation is smarter than the one before it”. I think it’s time for her to retire and let the “younger and confident” generation take over. :-P

In regards to what she wrote in her email, I wasn’t aware that the “women” of the “bail industry” have bestowed upon me the honor to represent them! Aww! I’m so flattered! Thank you! <3 With that being said, let me assured you that the bail industry has NEVER look as HOT as it going to look from this point on! ;-)

Clint Eastwood said, “The whole idea of America is that everybody can live their lives the way they choose. When you stick your dam nose in someone else’s business, not only you are un-American, but you deserve whatever reaction you get from it.” I love the “reaction” part of course! <3

I’m a citizen of the United States of America, “Land of the Free and Home of the Brave”. I’m a “FREE” woman and “BRAVE” is definitely my middle name! I really don’t care what others think about me, it’s only when someone (a complete stranger) tries to tell me what to do; that they will definitely get a “reaction” from me. And it’s usually not good news for them!

I’m sure this “jealous old lady” thought that by sending me an email it was going to make me stop posting my “Boudoir” photos!   You see, they are called “Boudoir” and not soft porn, but she wouldn’t know the difference because well, she is old and outdated! Aww! Poor lady! –“Do you need help pushing your rocker?”

I think that it’s fair to say that if you are a bail bondsman and have a problem with the things that I do, you should send an email to my ex-husband: Deputy Javier Tiscareno. After all, he’s the one who started it all with the “Tits and ass” statement! LOL!... And let’s not forget that it was Javier, the one who sent me to jail accusing me of Domestic Violence. I consequently bailed out and that’s how I became a bail bondsman. (I was a PTA Board Member before becoming a bail agent!). I’M THE EPITOME OF KARMA!!!... See what happens when someone tries to do evil and says hurtful things to others. I’ve turned Javier’s hurtful actions and negative comments into positive things for my marketing!  And by the way, you can find Javier at the Twin Towers Correctional Facility in Downtown Los Angeles.            

Most of the things that I do are usually a “reaction” from someone else’s “actions” against me! I mind my own business and I don’t bother anyone else. I don’t understand why some people have the “need” to come and tell me what to do. I think that unless they are paying my bills and providing “everything” for my kids and me, then they can give me their opinion... Otherwise, they need to shut the hell up! And mind their own fucking business!

I’m dedicating this entry blog and this special SBG boudoir photo to the “jealous old lady” bail agent who sent me that email. Let me tell you that you are un-American and you deserved my “reaction” for getting into “my” business.

And to all my fans in the US and around the world: I LOVE YOU! Muahh!<3

“When I walk in the spot, (yeah) this is what I see (okay)
Everybody stops and they're staring at 'ME'
I got passion in my pants
And I am NOT afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it...
...I'm sexy and I know it!” LMFAO

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl


  1. Wow........ Very strong, power ful and positive. You done well and hope you continue. Remember people are intitle to their opinions good or bad does not mean you have to agree....... you do whats right for you and your family ..... adapt, overcome and move on ...... You Rock

    Your Friend Rudy

    1. Thank you so much for you comment Rudy! It hasn't been easy, it takes a lot of work and sometimes I get really tired, but there's no turning back! ;-)

      Thank you Rudy!

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  3. Nice post! Thanks for sharing such a experience of your marriage with us. Your blogging is too good. Keep updating more blogs with us.

  4. Great.. Thanks for sharing it here, so that other girls will inspire. Keep Posting like this.

  5. I have read your blog many times and always found something meaningful. Hope you will continue the same in future.

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