Monday, May 27, 2013

Need Some Motivation?...

These are my Top 25 songs that get me "off my ass" and going; so, I can get things done! ;-)

Metallica is a MUST in everyone's playlists! And it's #1 in mine with:
1. Enter The Sandman (Metallica)

Next song get's me a little pissed off (in a good way), plus the video is awesome! especially with these lyrics:
"Who controls the past now controls the future
Who controls the present now controls the past
Who controls the past now controls the future
Who controls the present now?"
2. Testify (Rage Against The Machine)
If you're feeling down, I would recommend to go for a walk while listening to this song. (You'll thank me, later! :-p)
 3. Eye Of The Tiger (Survivor)

This song makes my "pheromones" go from normal stage, to the "Power of Two" in 1.5 seconds! Thank you! ;-)
 4. Bad To The Bone (George Thorogood)
Oh come on? We all have one of those days...  
"When you don't wanna wake up
Everything is fucked
Everybody sucks!
You don't really know why
But you wanna justify
Rippin' someone's head off
No human contact
And if you interact
Your life is on contract
Your best bet is to stay away, motherfucker!
It's just one of those days"
5. Break Stuff (Limp Bizkit) 
Some of us faster than others, but we're all going there...
6. Highway To Hell (AC/DC)
Need a song for your abs workout?
"La NiƱa, La Pinta y La Santa Maria"
7. Sleep Now In The Fire (Rage Against The Machine)
I was dropping off my kids at their High School one morning, when I saw some of the Marching Band kids play this song "impromptu" in the parking lot and they were rocking it out!!! Kids are awesome! ;-)
8. Seven Nation Army (The White Stripes)
"Take me down
To the paradise city
Where the grass is green
And the girls are pretty
Take me home"
. Need I say more?...
9. Paradise City (Gun's N' Roses)

I was 12 years old, when I first saw the movie "Rocky IV". In the movie there's a scene where Rocky leaves his house driving a Lamborghini. I remember telling myself then, "When I grow up I want to drive a 'stick shift' car"... Do I drive a stick shift car now? YES I DO! ;-)  here's the song:
10. No Easy Way Out (Robert Tepper)

This song "Turns Me On!!!"... Rawwrrr!!! I don't know about "motivation" on this one, but I'm turned on by this song. Everything, from the dude singing, the music video, the chicks, etc., hahahaha!!!... It's just a fucking bad ass song!!! Double Rawwrrr!!!!
11. Wicked Game (HIM)

"You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby
You're gonna die"...

12. Welcome to the Jungle (Guns N' Roses)

Dedicated to all my haters! <3
13. No Love (Eminem feat. Lil Wayne) 

Everything I do, I do it BIG!
14. Black and Yellow (Wiz Khalifa)

Want awesome looking, ripped abs? Do Sit-Ups during the length of this song! :-)
15. My Prerogative (Bobby Brown) 

"Ain't no way they can stop me now (Nancy)
Cause I'm on my way, I can feel my reign comin
It's the blood of a champion, pumpin
Deep inside my veins, too much pride to be runnin
I'ma give what I can and more, even if
My blood, my sweat, and my tears don't mean nothin
It's the heart of a champion (it's the heart of me)
(It's the heart of a..) in me"

16. Heart of a Champion (Nelly)

This is always a good jam! Even if you have two left feet ;-)
17. This Is How We Do It (Montel Williams)

The question is "Annie are you OK?"
18. Smooth Criminal (Alien Ant Farm)

This song won an Oscar! The Master has spoken!
(My future husband! <3)
 "I've got to formulate a plot or I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only motherfucking option, failure's not!"
19. Lose Yourself (Eminem) 

My daughter Sabrina said, "Mom, this is your song!" Aww!
20. Titanum (David Guetta feat. Sia) 

"I feel the need, the need for speed!!!" :-D
21. Danger Zone (Kenny Loggins)   

My friend Rob Smith from Banstead, UK posted this song on my Facebook wall a few months ago... and it became one of my favorite songs of all time!!! <3 Thanks Rob!
22. Stronger (Erick Morillo and Eddie Thoneick feat. Shawnee Taylor)

Cypher: "You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize?" [Takes a bite of steak]
Cypher: "Ignorance is bliss".

23. Spybreak! (Propellerheads)

My 15 year old niece Destinee told me, "I want you to listen to this song, it reminds me of you!" She played it for me, and I was so moved to see that my niece can recognize the kind of woman that I am... Thank you Des! I Love You! <3
24. The Fighter (Gym Class Heroes feat. Ryan Tedder)

"Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering." Yoda
25. Dual of The Fates Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (Crouch End Festival Churos and The City of Prague Philarmonic)

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

273.5 = The Numbers That Changed My Life.

I think that we all can identify with a special number or number combination. One day I was on my way to pick up my kids from school and noticed the numbers 273.5 on my car’s odometer. So I pulled over and snapped a picture of it.

I personally have many numbers that are significant to me because they marked something important in my life. My birth date, my kids’ birthdates, my wedding date, the date I was taken into custody, the date my divorce was final, my bank account password, etc.,.

But, one combination number that I will NEVER forget is 273.5. Why? Because those are the numbers that changed my life forever: PC 273.5 (a) the "Domestic Violence" penal code to be exact.
The California Penal Code Section 273.5 reads
273.5. (a) Any person who willfully inflicts upon a person who is
his or her spouse, former spouse, cohabitant, former cohabitant, or
the mother or father of his or her child, corporal injury resulting
in a traumatic condition is guilty of a felony, and upon conviction
thereof shall be punished by imprisonment in the state prison for
two, three, or four years, or in a county jail for not more than one
year, or by a fine of up to six thousand dollars ($6,000) or by both
that fine and imprisonment.
It was so sad for me to even think Javier (my ex-husband, who I knew since High School) could try so hard to "burry me alive" by lying to the police and accusing me (the mother of his kids) of Domestic Violence. In 2008, I was so scared because even though, domestic violence cases are"wobblers" (meaning prosecutors can file as either a misdemeanor or a felony); I was facing possible felony charges for something I didn't do!!! What the fuck?!?!?! I just couldn't believe it!!!

I was so worried that I began experiencing anxiety (Gosh! I really hope I never get to experience that ever again!), I couldn't see nor talk to my kids due to the restraining order that Javier filed against me. I couldn't sleep and I ended up losing a lot of weight. I remember I tip the scales at 93 pounds and I felt and looked so sick. I think the whole situation finally took its toll on me, when I fainted at my friend Wendy's house. I remember that I saw Wendy running towards me from the kitchen, as I was falling down in the living room. Everything was in slow motion, I remember Wendy's mouth moving shouting something, but then I blacked out. When I woke up, Wendy had placed me on the couch and she was holding my hand telling me, "You have to eat! You are the only one who can fight for your kids!" (I love you Wendy) Gosh, as I'm writing this, tears are coming down my face, just by remembering how weak I was back then. And how much I've grown since, from the pain I felt during that time. Yes, it's true: "Pain changes people".

I recently, received a copy of the "incident report" written in 2008 where Javier is "accusing me" of domestic violence. In the section, "Injuries" it reads:

"(VIC) Javier Tiscareno had an abrasion with redness to the right side of his neck. J. Tiscareno stated the injury was a result of (SUS) Nancy Tiscareno punching him in the face. J. Tiscareno stated he did not need medical treatment for his injuries".

Now, let me dissect the last paragraph and show you how fucking stupid these two assholes are! Yes, I'm referring to Javier and my arresting officer Deputy B. Balderrama. Apparently, none of these pigs know the difference between "face" and "neck". Perhaps, they can both go back to Kindergarten... Javier said that I punched him in the "face", so? Why did he have an injury to his "neck"?!?! Ahhh! Because Javier is a LIAR! ... And why didn’t Deputy Balderrama question it? Because Balderrama is an idiot! But, Javier is "double idiot" because he's the one who provided "ME" with the copy of this report! As if I wasn't going to write about the report on my blog! How stupid!!! And he used to tell me that, "I'm a stupid Guatemalan!" Pshh!

Now let me tell you, by Javier providing me with a copy of this report; he also gave me Deputy B. Balderrama's information and officer ID#. My arresting officer, Officer Balderrama, rubbed my breast with his right hand when putting the seat belt on me; while he was placing me in the back seat of his patrol car! I was only wearing a tank top without a bra and I couldn't do anything because I was handcuffed!... So, basically I got "fucked over" by "two" police officers, from "two" different police departments on the "same" day!!!! (Blog about Balderrama coming soon. Thanks to Javier!). And then people wonder, why I treat the local cops like shit!


Javier and B. Balderrama are two "professionals" in law enforcement; trained by the "finest" (supposedly) Sheriff's Departments in California (Los Angeles County and Riverside County) and they couldn't get their shit together in the report! How embarrassing!!!! But, that's what happens when people lie! The truth always comes out! In The Bible we can read, "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" John 8:32... Therefore, I'm "Free at last, Free at last, Thank God almighty ‘I am’ free at last." <3

Now, let me go back to the numbers 273.5. After becoming a bail bonds agent, I noticed that this number kept repeating itself over and over again. It saddens me to know about couples who were fighting and either the husband or the wife or sometimes both, ended up in jail due to Domestic Violence.

At first, I thought about changing my car license plate numbers to something related to 273.5; but, I don’t want to "glorify" these numbers. And, I think that is what would happen if I put them on a license plate. To me, Domestic Violence is a very serious issue! Not, only because I've seen couples who "love" each other actually do horrible things to one another, but because I lived it myself.

When I first received my bail license in the mail back in 2009, I called my friend Andrew, who's also a bail bondsman, and I told him that I had just gotten my license. He said, "Cool! What’s your license number?" I told him, "18-45-101" and then he said to me, "Wow! I'm surprised your number is not 18-45-'273.5'" hahahahaha!!! Asshole!... But, I love you Andrew! ;-)

As the years go by, I've been able to laugh and share my experiences with you. After everything I've gone through, that's all I could do. But, I have to be honest; I still have a lot of healing to do. I'm now a very strong, outspoken woman who doesn't take shit from nobody! But, I wasn't always this way. I'm a "product" of my environment!

Little by little, the word is getting out about me and I'm getting phone calls and emails from random women who are going through issues with domestic violence. They are either looking for advice or just someone who can listen and understand them. Maybe that's the main reason all these bad things happened to me. Perhaps my "calling" or "purpose" in this life is to help other women, to help humanity. I will always stay true to the "principle of justice". That is why I only speak the truth! Because the truth is the only thing that is constant.

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl

Friday, May 10, 2013

Bad To The Bone


"Bad to the Bone"
On the day I was born
The nurses all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder
At the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up
Said "leave this one alone"
She could tell right away
That I was bad to the bone

Bad to the bone
Bad to the bone
Bad to the bone

I broke a thousand hearts
Before I met you
I'll break a thousand more, baby
Before I am through
I wanna be yours pretty baby
Yours and yours alone
I'm here to tell ya honey
That I'm bad to the bone
Bad to the bone
Bad to the bone

I make a rich man beg
I'll make a good man steal
I'll make an old man blush
And make a young boy squeal
I wanna be yours pretty baby
Yours and yours alone
I'm here to tell ya honey
That I'm bad to the bone
Bad to the bone

And when I walk the streets
Kings and Queens step aside
Every man I meet
They all stay satisfied
I wanna tell ya pretty baby
Well Ya see I make my own
I'm here to tell ya honey
That I'm bad to the bone
Bad to the bone
Bad to the bone!... :-P

Nancy Tiscareno - Bail Bonds  

Sunday, May 5, 2013

You Don't Belong Here!

I remember the day my ex-husband Javier, who is an LA County Deputy Sheriff, had me arrested for domestic violence almost five years ago. I was taken to Robert Presley Detention Center in Riverside, CA. (I love saying that I was an "inmate" at the County jail because it sounds so "badass", plus it pisses Javier off of course, since no criminal charges were ever filed against me! Lol!)

As I was being booked into jail, the female officer who was processing my fingerprints asked me, "So, what did you do?" I replied, "Nothing!" She then said, "No, really? What did you do?" I said, "I already told you, nothing!" She wasn’t pleased with my answer; so, she asked me again, "OK! Why are you here, then?" … Gosh! I wanted to tell her that I heard the food at the county jail was really good and I decided to sample it myself. But, I didn’t think it was the appropriate time to crack one of my jokes, so I said to her, "I’m married to a Deputy Sheriff from Los Angeles County. We are currently going through a divorce and he’s claiming that ‘I beat the shit out of him’. I’m here due to ‘Domestic Violence’".

The officer said, "YOU?!?!?!"… She looked at me in such shock that it seemed her eyes were about to pop out of their sockets! At the time, I weighed around 100 pounds (45kg 359.23g) and I looked and felt pretty weak. Although, Javier’s attorney wrote on the Temporary Restraining Order (that she filed on his behalf) that I weighed 115 pounds at the time of the "incident". I’ve always been a ‘skinny bitch’; so, "their" claim totally backfired!

The officer was holding my left hand onto the fingerprint machine when this conversation took place. So, when I told her the reason I was in jail, she immediately let go of my hand and told me, "I’m going to have to call my Watch Commander; we need to get you into ‘Protected Custody’". (See? That’s what happens when you’re married to a cop. You get "Special Treatment" when you're an "inmate" in jail! Lol!) She left me in the room and went to call the Lieutenant on watch.


The officer came back and finished taking my fingerprints. She was very nice and I can tell that she felt sorry for me. She told me to have a seat and to wait for the Lieutenant. Shortly thereafter, the Lieutenant came into the room. I remember him being a super tall, blond dude! He looked at me and said, "Come with me, I want to talk to you in a different cell"; so, I followed him.

He opened an empty cell and told me to walk in and have a seat on a bench. He stood right at the door and then said, "Tell me what happened?" I began telling him in detail everything that happened in the morning at my house. That Javier and I were getting a divorce and since Javier is a cop, he was able to manipulate the situation and lie to get me arrested; that way he could get me out of his way. The Lieutenant exclaimed, "YOU DON’T BELONG HERE!!!!" …Uh, Duh?!!! I think that was the very first time I heard someone tell me, that I didn’t belong somewhere.

The second time I heard someone tell me that I didn’t "belong" was in 2009 at the Riverside Criminal Court building. I had just walked into an early morning court room to surrender a person back into custody; when a very non-friendly bailiff approached me and said, "What are you doing here? You don’t belong here?" (Oh, wow! Another one bites the dust!) I could probably write a blog about how many different people have told me, since I bailed out of jail in 2008 and started working in bail bonds, "I don’t belong here!" "Here" in the bail industry, that is. Back in 2008 I didn’t know what a "bail bond" was. In a sense, this profession found ‘ME’ instead of the other way around. It’s not like I grew up saying, "When I grow up I want to become a Bail Bondsman"; I didn’t marry anyone to get here, nor did I inhered the family business.

Growing up, I always wanted to become a Criminal Defense Attorney. As a teenager and young adult in the 90’s; I used to watch the TV series, "The Practice" and never missed an episode! I was fascinated about the twists and turns of every case and how the defense attorneys either got their clients acquitted or how they negotiated plea bargains with the prosecutors. I used to envision myself, walking into a court room, wearing nice collar shirts, pencil skirts and fabulous shoes (It’s all about the shoes!) Arguing cases in front of the judge, knowing the legal "jargon", and always getting my clients acquitted, of course! ;-)

In 2009, after getting my bail license, it suddenly hit me! Oh my goodness! I’m doing exactly what I always envision myself doing, and some!!!! …I wear the nice clothes and fabulous shoes! I don’t argue with a judge. Instead I tell him or her, what to do when I surrender someone back into custody (Oh wow!). I don’t know all the legal jargon because I’m not an attorney, but every single time I’m in court (family, criminal or civil), I’m always taking notes! I love going to court! I get a rush every time I see or know that one of my clients is out of jail, especially if it was a "bogus" Domestic Violence case! Awe! <3

In the book The Alchemist, (one of my favorite books of all time!) Paulo Coelho wrote: "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it". I guess the universe began to help me to achieve what I’ve always wanted; from the moment when Javier called the cops on me, all the way until today. And the universe is already aligning things for my future goals. I'm so excited!


I have to agree! It’s obvious that I don’t belong here! I was a Stay-At-Home Mom, who used to coordinate and plan the yearly talent shows at my kids’ school, Harada Elementary in Eastvale, CA; that ended when Javier sent me to jail, of course. Even now, I get "Thank you" emails or messages on Facebook from parents and kids who participated in my shows. I contributed in building good lasting memories for them and to me that is priceless!

For the past five years, I've had a "love/hate" relationship with the bail bond industry! In fact, at the end of 2010 I was feed up with the negativity of this job; and tired of constantly hearing and seeing the "nasty" things that humans can do to each other. I was also exhausted of having to deal with the competition; so, I quit! (At least that's what I thought) And I took a job answering phones at Fidelity National Title Company. I was hoping to get away from it all; but, my cell phone never stopped ringing with bail bond calls. So, after seven weeks, I went back to do what continues to follow me today, "Bail Bonds".

Do I see myself working in bail bonds for the rest of my life? Oh, Gosh No!!! I've been "Desperately Seeking 'Nancy'"hahahaha!!! Another "Nancy". An aggressive, confident, independent, Hispanic woman! But, I haven't had the pleasure yet; so, the search continues...


I've always seen "bail bonds" as a stepping stone to the rest of my dreams and goals. I know that I've been chosen to do way more things than I can ever begin to imagine. And, that's the reason why I continued to experiment with my life; until I finally find what resonates with me and who I am. I always thought that by the time I turned 40, I was going to be remarried and have at least two more kids. But, last December for my 39th Birthday, I realized that the "universe" didn't conspire for me to meet a good man to start a brand new family with; and I'm OK with that. Perhaps, I'm supposed to be an example for other single or divorced women to be aggressive and pursue their dreams and their career goals without depending on a man.

Last month, I met with a TV producer in Hollywood, CA and he asked me, "Nancy, I checked out most of your information and your videos on YouTube and I have to say, I'm a little confused"... I said to him, "It's OK! I'm confused too!" LOL!!! ;-)


What's my passion? Well, I'm an entertainer! Plain and simple! I’m having too much fun writing about my adventures on this blog and adding my own spin to the photos that accompany every one of my blogs. I'm also currently working on two brand new blogs that have absolutely nothing to do with bail bonds. I'll be launching those blogs pretty soon. I'm really excited about that!

I've done "Stand Up Comedy" at a couple of local bars so far, and I have to be honest and say that I had a blast!!! (Cops are usually the "punch line" of most of my jokes, it's hilarious!) Stand Up Comedy is definitely something I would like to pursue in the near future. I'm also launching another YouTube Channel because my fans are waiting to see what I am going to do next; which is so crazy, but I love it! Walt Disney said, "I believe in being an innovator" and I believe that too! <3

Where are all of these things going to take me? I'm not sure, yet! But, my psychic said that I’m currently living my third and last reincarnation in this planet; so, I better get my ass moving! LMAO!!! ;-) ... In the Manuscript Found in Accra, Paulo Coelho wrote, "Someday everything will make perfect sense. So, for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason". So, brace yourselves because "Hurricane Nancy" is on its way! :-D 

                        "Take your passion and make it happen"


Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl