Thursday, October 17, 2013

NEVER AGAIN!


Have you ever witness an act of Domestic Violence against a woman? Or even worse, have you ever been a victim of Domestic Violence yourself? I have.

This blog is not going to be about me and the abuse I endured on and off during my marriage. Believe it or not, every single time I think about the things I went through I can’t stop crying. I know I have become a very strong and tough woman; but, I still break down when I remember those very dark days in my life. I guess after all these years those memories still affect me today and I honestly want to kick myself in the ass for not taking action and calling for help. I hope someday I’ll get the courage to write in detail about the abuse I suffered; so, perhaps others can learn from my mistakes.


This blog is about a Domestic Violence incident I witnessed outside the Van Nuys jail, (LAPD) Community Police Station one Saturday afternoon back in May, 2010.  At the time I was working for Big Boy Bail Bonds and my job was to hustle the business right outside the police station. I’ve written a couple of blogs where I’ve mentioned the city of Van Nuys; and, how the agents and other bail bond companies do whatever the hell they want. Nobody is regulating anything! It’s a free for all! Van Nuys is definitely NOT a place for the “weak” bail agents; that’s for sure!


The jail visits where dying down and it was probably around 2pm. I was standing outside the jail, right next to a tree in the police station parking lot. All of the sudden, I saw two women in a small sedan. They came into the parking lot driving really fast and parked at the only space available in the lot facing a divider wall. This parking lot is very small and it’s also the parking lot for the local library and I guess on this day, it was busy.

The women in the sedan were being followed by a man driving a Ford F350 truck.  He looked so enraged; I would never forget his expression! He parked his truck right behind the little sedan blocking its way. Everything was happening so fast, the women never got a chance to get out of their car! The man got out of his truck and ran to the sedan’s driver’s side and began hitting the driver side window! The window was about one quarter down, so he was able to grab it and began pulling on it too. I was like, is this for real? I mean, in Van Nuys I got to see commercials, music videos or films being shot; so, I actually looked around to see if there was a camera crew perhaps coming right after the man got out of his car. But, I didn’t see any one with a camera. I then heard the man yell, “I’m going to fuck you up! I don’t care if I’ll be going to jail for that!” He was still hitting the sedan’s driver side window where the woman driver was. The man looked to be about 5’11 or so, maybe around 280 pounds, bald head with a few tattoos on his neck.  In my eyes he looked huge!


I was standing so close to where all of this was taking place; so, I figure I should move away a bit just in case he was going to come and hit me too, since I was so close to him. I then moved and hid behind the same tree I was standing next to. I grabbed my cell phone and I called my boss Roxy at the office. The office was about a block away.  I told her to please call the police station and let them know that a woman was getting beaten up in the parking lot. (I didn’t want to be the one calling the police station because I thought, “what about if this guy wants to hurt me, after he finds out I’m the one who called the cops!”) At that moment I noticed that half of the man’s right arm was already inside the car and he was hitting the woman sitting on the driver side, right on her face and chest area!!!! (What I don’t understand is why the woman sitting in the passenger seat didn’t get out of the car and go ask for help!).


My boss Roxy told me over the phone that she was not going to call the police because she didn’t want to get “involved”. WHAT???!!!! I couldn’t believe her!!!! I pleated with her, “You’re not even here, and nobody is going to know that you called! Please call the cops! This lady needs our help!!!” Roxy still said no. WHAT A FUCKING COWARD!  Roxy is actually an animal that’s what she is! She has no compassion towards people. And that’s all I’m going to say about her. (I left Big Boy Bail Bonds a few days after this incident. I packed my shit and left!).


I hung up the call with Roxy and at that moment, I realized that it was up to me to stop the abuse the poor woman was enduring in her car. I then called the Van Nuys police station directly (I have their number in my cell phone contacts, since I have to call the jail for bail information). An LAPD officer answered my call and I proceeded to tell him that a woman was getting beat up at “his” police station park lot. The cop said to me, “Yeah, you’re going to have to call later because we don’t have officers to respond to that right now”… WHAT THE FUCK???!!!  Did he just tell me that the station doesn’t have any cops? When I’d been standing outside the jail almost the whole day and saw the change of shift!!!! (What a fucking asshole!).


I wasn’t happy with the answer the cop gave me. In fact, I was outraged!  So, I walked really fast, almost running inside the police station. At the same time, I was praying that the man wouldn’t kill the woman before I could get her some help! I saw only one black police officer sitting at the front desk; and that was a little strange to me because usually the Van Nuys police station is really busy. There are usually 3 cops sitting at the front desk. And then, I noticed that there were no people waiting in the lobby, no one making the line for the jail visits. It was actually very peaceful and quiet inside the station. The black cop dude was just chilling!


I walked towards where the cop was sitting near the jail entrance door and told him that a lady was getting beat up downstairs in the parking lot. He said to me, “Were you the one that just called?” I immediately recognized his voice; it was the same dude who told me that they (LAPD) didn’t have any cops at the station. I said, “Yes, I did!” The cop then told me, “Well, I already told you that we don’t have officers to respond to that right now”. I told him, “There has to be something you can do! Please, you got to help her! The man is hitting her!!!” The officer told me in a smartass tone, “Well, if she needs help, why isn’t she calling us?”  … My jaw dropped!!! I was speechless for a few seconds there! (Those of you who know me personally, you guys know that I don’t shut up!) I was numb! And at that moment, in my imagination, my head was spinning just like in the movie The Exorcist! I also imagined myself spewing the pea soup right onto his face after he said that!!!… Is this cop an asshole, or what? Unbelievable!!!


I was so angry that this cop was being such an asshole, I gave him a dirty look and I walked away from the station without saying a word. The minute I stepped outside the police station, I told myself, “What are doing Nancy? You’re not going to tell this asshole anything?!?!” I then turned around and walked back inside the station, I directed myself back to where the asshole cop was sitting and I told him, “You just asked me, ‘Why isn’t she calling you guys’, right? The lady needs help and she’s not calling the cops! Well, let me tell you why. She is not calling the cops because first she’s getting beat up outside! And second, she is more afraid of the “abuser” hitting her and what he could do to her later on, when he retaliates against her for calling the cops on him! The abuser knows where she lives, where she works, he knows everything about her! And she knows that she’s doomed if she does something about it! And you know how I know this; because I was once myself a VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!” As I was walking away from the reception desk, I saw another police officer coming out from the back office. He was one of the regular officers there. I think he heard me as I was walking away.

I walked outside the police station and I immediately dialed 911. I kept on walking towards the parking lot to see if the lady was still there getting her ass kicked. And sure enough, the abuser was still hitting her and yelling at her!!!! I was outraged!!! The dispatcher answered my call and asked the typical question, what was my emergency? I began by telling her my full name and then I told her that I was witnessing an act of domestic violence right outside the Van Nuys police station! I never gave the dispatcher a chance to ask me anymore questions! I proceeded immediately to describe the abuser in detail, but at this point I was fed up with the man’s actions that I walked right next to man. I began describing him to the dispatcher. I stood right next to him, as he continued to hit the woman inside the car. I calculated that he was about 5’11 once I was standing right next to him because I’m about 5’10 when I wear 5 inch heels and I was wearing some big-o-hoochie shoes that day.

I walked around both cars as I continued to tell the dispatcher what the abuser was wearing, what color shirt, what type of pants, tennis shoes, bald headed, tattoos, what kind of car was he driving, color of vehicle, license plate number! I then began to describe the victim and her passenger; I noticed an empty baby car seat in the back of the little sedan where the women were. Thank goodness there was no kid there!


I made sure to tell the dispatcher that I had already asked for help “twice” at the Van Nuys police station; but, I was told by a cop inside the station, that they (LAPD) didn’t have any cops to respond to this abuse, even though this was happening at their police station parking lot! (I wanted to make sure that this statement was going to be on the recording!) I pleated with the dispatcher, “Please send someone!!!” The dispatcher responded, “They are not there yet? I sent the call out as soon as you began describing the man!” I looked around and nobody was there yet! I was so frustrated because in my eyes, the woman inside the car had endured enough abuse at this point! And the man kept on hitting her and pulling her hair!!!!!!

The dispatcher asked me, “What is the man doing right now?” I said, “He’s still hitting the woman inside the car!!!!! It’s happening right now and there’s nothing I can do!!!” The dispatcher then said, “I can’t believe there’s no units there yet?!?!  She asked me, “What’s the address there?!!!” I told her, “I don’t know the exact address! Just tell the responding officers that this is happening at the Van Nuys police station! Every LAPD cop knows where the Van Nuys police station is at!”

As soon as I finished saying that to the dispatcher, I saw the first police unit pulling in to the parking lot, followed by two more! Six LAPD cops (5 men and 1 woman) jumped out of their patrol units, with guns drawn! They were all yelling at the abuser guy to get on the floor! At the same time, I saw approximately 15 to 20 LAPD cops that came out running to the parking lot from the inside of the police station, including: “Officer Asshole”  (the same asshole LAPD cop, who had told me that there were no cops at the station at the time!) I told the dispatcher “They’re here! Thank you so much!” she replied, “I can hear them! I can hear them! Gosh! Thank you for calling!”  (The dispatcher was really nice!)

It was quite a scene, seeing so many cops in the small parking lot. People began gathering to see what was happening. Including two other bail agents from another bail bond company; I told them, “You guys can have that bond! I’m not bailing out that jerk!” The cops got the abuser in handcuffs and pulled him to the opposite side of the parking lot, close to where the library building is at. Another group of cops were talking to the two women, now standing outside their car. And I was approached by a female officer who wanted to take my statement.

Little by little all the cops that responded from the police station were going back inside. “Officer Asshole” had the abuser man laying chest down onto a patrol unit. Then “Officer Asshole” signaled at me and put his right hand up to his ear as if he had an invisible phone, and moved his lips saying to me “Did you call?” I responded loudly from the opposite side of the parking lot, “Yes I did!!! I called!!!!”  I began walking towards where “Officer Asshole” was, when he yelled at me, “Don’t you dare come this way! I’ll talk to you after!”  There were still probably around 12 other cops in the parking lot. “Officer Asshole” had to show off in front of his peers that he was the one in control.  

I finished talking to the female officer who was taking my statement. And then saw “Officer Asshole” take the abuser’s cuffs off, and told him to leave the parking lot right away! I was like, “What?!?! They are not taking him into custody?!?!”  I was flabbergasted! And then, I looked at the woman (the driver from the small sedan), and I could tell that she didn’t tell the cops the truth!!! She covered up for the man who was hitting her! Wow! Typical behavior of a woman who’s been abused and still afraid of taking the necessary steps toward peace and change her life! It was so sad for me, to see that she lacked the courage to move on to a better future.

The abuser got back in his truck and left the area as soon as he could. I finished talking to the female officer taking my statement and she walked away. As soon as I was done talking to her, I saw “Officer Asshole” walk towards me from the opposite side of the parking lot. He was about 10 feet away from me, when he began yelling at me, “What the fuck are you doing here?! Who do you think you are?!” (This incident happened before I became Super Bond Girl, and even before I began blogging, of course! I don’t think that “Officer Asshole” would have ever talked to me that way if he knew who I was). But, that just comes to show you that “he” is indeed an “asshole”.

Officer Asshole was angry and demanded for me to reply to his questions! I pulled out a little notepad that I always carried when I was hustling outside the jail and I began writing down all the shit that he was telling me. Then I looked at his name tag and his last name was “CLARK”. I looked at his LAPD badge on his uniform; I thought perhaps that was where he’s employee number was. Officer Clark was pissed off that I didn’t reply to his verbal abuse; when he realized that I was trying to get the numbers on his badge (at this point he was already yelling at me right to my face!) He got even more upset and challenged me, “Do you want my employee number? Is that what you want?!” he was yelling at me!!! Then Officer Clark blurted out, “3-9-0-8-7” Wow! This guy is a true douchebag! He knew that even if I wanted to file a complaint against him, it wasn’t going to go anywhere! That’s why he was so confident giving me his employee number. Cops cover up for each other! I already learned that from my own experience with my ex-husband Javier and the LA County Sheriff’s department! Filling a complaint doesn’t do anything and obviously this asshole knows it very well!

Another LAPD officer came and grabbed Officer Clark by his right arm and told him, “Leave her alone! Just go, leave her alone!” Clark was still yelling at me; but, he did what the other officer told him. Both officers walked back to the Van Nuys police station.

And what about the women who were in the small sedan? They both got back in the car. As the driver put the car in reverse, she looked at me; she put both hands together gesturing as if she was praying and bowed her head down. As she raised her head back up, I was able to read her lips saying, “Thank you” and she drove away.

At that moment, I couldn’t take it anymore and I began crying as I walked back to my office. Luckily I had sunglasses on, so no one got to see that. I really tried to help that woman; I only wished she would have been stronger though. At the same time, I thought about the fact that I wish someone would have done something like that for me, back in those dark days of my life when I was so weak and I had no courage! I was devastated because I knew then, that this lady was probably going to end up with a bullet in her head or chopped up in pieces in a dumpster, all because she was too scare to take charge of her own life.

Did I file a complained against Officer Clark you may ask? No, of course not! I wasn’t going to waste my energy on that! That’s why I’m blogging about it right now! I think its better to have my thousands of readers around the world know what a scum bag LAPD Officer Clark is! The LAPD has actually treated me very nicely for the most part. I can’t say that all the LAPD cops are bad. Officer Clark is obviously a BAD APPLE and I can’t judge the whole department based on “one” police officer’s actions.

I endured Domestic Violence on and off while I was married; that was before I became a bail bonds agent. Statistics show that one in four women (25%) has experienced domestic violence in her lifetime. But, I’m not a fool; I know men also endure domestic violence. Yet, we don’t really talk about it. Domestic Violence is still a subject that’s socially taboo. As a bail bonds agent I struggle with this issue! I really want to believe the “good” in people, but I have seen with my own eyes the nasty things that “couples” do to each other! Some of them injure themselves on purpose just to set up the “unexpected” spouse and send them to jail, just as my ex-husband Javier did to me. Others have actually hit their spouses with objects: irons, belts, baseball bats, etc. I’ve seen a “man” without front “teeth” because his wife hit him with a baseball bat; yet, he was the one who landed in jail!!!  I just couldn’t believe it!!!!

If you are in an intimate relationship and your significant other is abusive to you; please call or look for help! Don’t wait until you land in jail just like me, or until you don’t have front teeth like the poor man I just talked about. Speak up, please! If you witness an act of domestic violence against someone, please help! Don’t be like my ex-boss Roxy! Who didn’t want to get “involved” And if you're a cop, don't be an asshole like Officer Clark! Have compassion towards other people’s weaknesses. It takes time for a victim of Domestic Violence to build up the courage to say NEVER AGAIN and start a new life. How do I know? Because that’s exactly what I’ve been doing for the past 5 years!


Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl

 www.SuperBondGirl.com




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