Monday, June 29, 2015

I Really Hope My Soulmate Finds Me Fast

I really hope my soulmate finds me fast because I have a lot of shit I need to accomplish; and, I can do things a lot faster if the fucker shows up and he's ready to work! (LMAO!)

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Ladies! Don't Buy a Whole Pig...

I've served divorce papers on behalf of many of my girlfriends. It's sad! But, we all know that "shit happens." Last month, I served divorce papers on behalf of one of my closest friends who decided to say, "I don't" two months after she said, "I do" (A wonderful marriage that lasted 2 months!) Hahahaha!!! Oh my gosh!!! So, just a quick reminder: 
Don't buy a whole pig when all you want is a sausage. 

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

The Best Is Yet To Come!

Happy 4th Anniversary 
Super Bond Girl! 

Aww! I'm celebrating, this week, 7 years since I began working in the Bail Bond Industry and 4 years since I officially launched my brand "Super Bond Girl" in June 13, 2011!  What an incredible adventure it has been! And it seems that with every passing year I manage to get myself into bigger and better shenanigans! LOL!!! Oh dear! ;-)

Let's see... What have I done with Super Bond Girl these past 4 years? 

I became an independent bail bond agent and I pretty much do what I want. Shortly after launching my website, I was invited to appeared on the Anderson Cooper Talk Show. Then, I was featured locally, in Riverside, in the Inland Empire Magazine. I've been able to throw some really good shit at the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, ALL BY MYSELF! (No need for Press Conferences! LOL). Last year, I told DC Comics to "Fuck off" for getting into my business, and they did! And this year, I'm making Danjaq, LLC, the owners of the James Bond films, spend millions of dollars due to my trademark application for Super Bond Girl! Lol! I wish I could tell you that I made all this shit up! But the truth is: this is my REAL LIFE! ;-)

I would like to briefly thank a few people, beginning with my surety: AIA, with special thanks to Michael Whalen for always believing in me. My current boss also known as "the ghost" LOL! He turned out to be a pretty cool boss, after all. My dear friend Fredy Paz who helps me a lot with graphics, designs, and anything else that needs to be printed. My web-designer Jayson Lopez who is awesome! My good friend Lourdes Godinez, who is also my accountant and a big "Thank You!" to my hair stylist, Eliah Alvarez! Of course, I wouldn't be creating and doing what I'm doing today without the love and support from my friend Wendy and her family! The unconditional love, support, and understanding from my three teenage kids: Reece, Rio, and Sabrina. And I would like to also thank YOU because you've come to ride the crazy train with me too! LOL! So, thank you! xoxo! 

As a business woman and entrepreneur, I have to be honest and tell you that in the past 7 years, I've lost everything twice! I think the second time was the one that hurt the most. But, I managed to get it all back. ;-) Les Brown says, "If you're not willing to risk, you cannot grow. If you cannot grow, you cannot be your best. If you cannot be your best, you cannot be happy. If you cannot be happy, what else is there?" Every single time I've come back from a defeat, I'm stronger, more focused, and determined! As an entertainer, I've always been able to maintain my sense of humor and I think that's been the major key of all the things I've been able to create. 

Super Bond Girl, to me, symbolizes: freedom, independence, and justice with a whole lot of entertaiment, of course! hahahahahaha!!! That's everything that I stand for and I love her! It doesn't matter how many mother fucking assholes I have to fight against for Super Bond Girl. Super Bond Girl is mine! And that's the end of that! 
Happy Anniversary Super Bond Girl! 

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl

Thursday, June 11, 2015

I Was Born This Way

A couple of years ago, I met a dude named Josh. Josh is a salesman, he's married with kids and overall he's a really cool guy. I like him and I like his energy too! But, he's also one of those dudes who thinks that he's a psychologist (self taught). He's always ready to start analyzing your behavior, right away! And he loves to give you his input about the reasons why you act the way that you do. I obviously don't need to go see a psychologist because I know EVERYTHING about myself! LOL! 

One day I was having lunch with Josh, and we were brainstorming about ideas to help advance his business (Josh promotes spa & massage salons and hair salons) when all of the sudden, he tells me "I know why you love posing wearing a bikini and all the provocative sexual marketing that you do!" I thought, "Oh, there he goes again with his psychology shit!" Josh continued, "Nancy, you do all this crazy stuff because you're insecure!" hahahahaha!!!! I told Josh, "I got 99 problems, but insecurity ain't one". 

This past March, my dear childhood friend Maribel posted the following statement while sharing one of my blog post on her Facebook. She wrote: 

"This is my friend Nancy, my neighbor and childhood friend. I always knew that she wasn't a normal girl. Since she was little, she's been intrepid, defiant and flirtatious. We played outside and always had a great time with all her ideas. Later on, while we were growing up, I began to notice that wherever she went, she was the center of attention. Perhaps it was her charm or pheromones with a enviable sex appeal. I could keep writing the whole day about her because she's shared so many of her anecdotes. She's simply different and special."  

Oh man! After I read Maribel's post, I was crying like a baby! Maribel and I have known each other since we were 6 years old. She has 2 older sisters and together we got into so many awesome and crazy adventures growing up in our little hometown in Guatemala. Maribel's Mom was really cool too! She always supported us with all of our shenanigans! LOL! Aww! the memories! <3

Maribel lives in Guatemala with her husband and two sons and the last time I physically saw her was in 2007, when I went back to Guatemala and visited my grandparents. We keep in touch almost everyday through Facebook. And even though we live in different countries, she's amazingly supportive towards me and I totally adore her! 

What most people don't know is that I've always been this way. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality and I love exploring new ventures. Many people have told me about some of the pictures I've posted, "Oh my god, Nancy! Think about your kids!" LOL! I always laughed when I hear them say this because what they don't know is that my kids have been exposed to my sexuality since the day they were born! So, my kids don't know any difference. (And before you start judging me, let me clarify that my kids are now 20, 17 and 15 years old. So, they're not "little ones" anymore, but they're still my babies! LOL!)

When I attended high school, there were many times when I went to school without wearing a bra. Not wearing a bra was normal to me! Plus, I attended high school during the early 90's and apparently, nobody gave a shit about the dress code at school at the time because no one ever told me to go home and change! My high school friend Martha reminded me a couple of years ago about a yellow midriff top I used to wear to school. No bra, of course! LOL! Ironically, that's the same exact yellow shirt on my high school ID! hahahahaha!!! (And, I know! I know! My face hasn't changed much since I was in high school; but, that's what happens when you become a vampire!) hahahahaha!!!

A few months ago, my kids and I were going through some old pictures. My daughter Rio found a few where I was wearing a black and white stripped bikini and she asked me, "Mom, how old were you when you took these pictures?" I replied, "Seventeen, honey" Rio said, "You should post this. So people know that you've always been this way!" ;-) 

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl

Monday, June 1, 2015

NO Regrets!

Hello my dear readers! 
I just wanted to write a quick note to thank you for visiting my blog and for all of your constant support. The past month of May was extremely busy for me. I'm not complaining, I'm just letting you know because I haven't replied to many of your emails. I like responding to your emails and messages promptly, so I do feel bad that I haven't done so yet. As you know, I'm still a one woman team, I'm in charge of my marketing, promoting my business, creating content, handling my clients, my household, my children and I'm even my own attorney. My life does get extremely crazy at times!  But, that's why I'm Super Bond Girl, right? I'm supposed to be able to do everything!!! LOL! ;-) Thank you so much for your patience and understanding! xoxo! <3 

Now, let me get to this week's blog post. 

In November 2013 I decided to give myself a break from dating. I was honestly very tired of the dating scene, so I wrote up my own little contract stating that I was not going to be dating for 18 months starting November 1, 2013 to May 1, 2015 and then signed it. I guess seeing a tangible contract made it official business for me, so that way I could stay focused. ;-) 

I really wanted to completely commit to Super Bond Girl and to two other projects that I'm still working on. Dating could be fun, but it's a lot of wasting time too. And quite frankly, my time and productivity are more important and valuable to me than going out on dates.

You're probably wondering if I actually did it, right? No dating for 18 months? Well, I did 17 out of those 18 months! LOL! And the only reason why I broke my own contract was because in April of this year, I ran into a criminal defense attorney who I met back in 2010. I never dated him, but I liked him since we first met.  So when he suggested we should go out on a date, I didn't hesitate to accept. 

I'm not going to mention him by name because this is actually one of the reasons why I'm writing this blog post. When I first met my attorney friend, he was starting his legal career and so was I with the bail bond industry. I wasn't even blogging yet. We would run into each other at the courthouse and just limited ourselves to be friendly and cordial to each other and that was that. In the beginning of 2011, I began working from home, so I didn't see him anymore. I didn't know anything about him for the past 5 years until we ran into each other this past April. 

Our date was actually really fun and since I already knew him, there was no uncomfortable moments between us. We weren't trying to impress each other because we're both pretty bad-ass people and we both know it! hahahahahaha!!! He has a very flamboyant, explosive personality just like mine and neither him or me have a brain to mouth filter! hahahahaha! That means that we always say what we think! Period! No bullshit!  

We obviously had a lot of catching up to do, so during our date we couldn't stop talking! He mentioned that he's actually very involved in politics and that he's running for a public office position in Los Angeles during the next elections. I was like, "Dude! that's so fucking awesome! Good for you!" He's worked really hard for the past 5 years because politics is part of his calling and I admire him for following his dreams. 

I shared with him about all of the shenanigans I've gotten myself into the past 5 years and we had a really good laugh about all of my exciting adventures! LOL! I mentioned to him that I've been blogging since 2011 and he said that he was going to check out my blog. 

A few days after our date, my attorney friend called me and asked me about my provocative marketing campaign against the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department. (You know, the pictures of the pig, the ones where I'm cleaning a toilet with their uniform, and my body painted boobs) He then said, "Is it possible for you to take those pictures down?" I replied right away, "Absolutely not! No way!" He said, "I really want to hang out with you and continue seeing you! But, I'm running for office and I have to have a good relationship with the LA County Sheriff's Department." (He doesn't even like the cops, but it's all about politics. So, I understand!) 

I told my attorney friend, "I have absolutely NO regrets of the things I've done to expose the level of corruption within the LA County Sheriff's Department. I'm the only bail agent who's ever done something like it! My blog posts have caused investigations with other local police departments, the California Bail Agent Association is aware of some of the topics I've written about, the Department of Insurance, and I've even dealt with the FBI in a couple of occasions. I understand your current position and I don't want to hinder your progress nor be a negative image for your political career. But, if I have to choose between you (or any other man) and my blog with all the information I've created and provided, I will always choose my blog, my career and my right to express myself." 

I CLEARLY have a personal vendetta against the LA County Sheriff's Department. When is my hate towards the LASD is going to end? I honestly don't know! Obviously, I don't give a shit about what people think of my actions and my provocative marketing respecting to the LA County Sheriff Department. My negative marketing towards the LASD is going to end when I say so, not when someone is asking me to do so. I would always remember the fact the LASD kicked me when I was down and I'm not going to let it fly easily. That's what cowards do and I'm no coward! The only reason why I haven't done any provocative marketing lately is because I'm still dealing with the James Bond people. Evidently, the James Bond people are bigger fish to fry for me than having to deal with all the losers at the LASD. But rest assured that I'm not done with LASD! 

My attorney friend and I decided to stay friends. We've talked over the phone in a couple occasions since. It's really nice to talk to someone who actually vibrates at your same energy level and totally understands your craziness and that's exactly what happens every single time we've talked. But, we've agreed that there's absolutely no benefit for us to be together or even being seen together. We've both chosen for our careers to be first and we're not immature so everything is fine. 

Even though, because of business, things were not going to work out with this dude. I'm really happy that we encountered each other and I had this experience because that means that I'm finally attracting the right men into my life. I don't consider myself a "marriage material" woman and never want to be pressured into doing so. I'm more of a: "Let's go on an adventure forever" type woman. LOL! (I'm not signing anything!) I think that this dude actually had the balls it takes to be with a woman like me. So, who knows... perhaps my next date is not running for Los Angeles public office and has the balls too. ;-) 

Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl